Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in vixen_victoria's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
7:33 pm	kissing Stolen from my favorite Dizzle: I have kissed someone... on the cheek. on the lips. on their hands or fingers. in my room. in their room. of the same sex. of the opposite sex. younger than me. older than me. with jet black hair. with curly hair with blonde hair. blue eyes. with flaming red hair. with straight hair smaller/shorter than me. bigger/taller than me. with a lip ring. who was drunk. who was high. who I had just met. who was homosexual. who I didn't really want to kiss. on a holiday. who was going out with someone else. who was going out with someone close to me. who was my good friend's brother or sister who had been/is in jail. in a graveyard. at a show/concert. at the beach. in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water. who was legally too old for me to have sex with. with dyed hair. with a shaved head. who was/is my good friend. who was/is in a band. who has tattoos. who is of a completely different race than me. in the rain. in the snowfall (<---- added that one) in another continent besides where I was born. with an accent. with an std. on a boat. in a car/taxi/bus. on a plane. at the circus/carnival. with a missing body part. in the movies. eskimo style. Well that was entertaining. Current Mood: dorky Current Music: "Time after Time" (are they worthy?)
Monday, January 3rd, 2005
10:35 pm	:D Wow. I am so fucking happy with him right now...I never thought I could feel so safe, secure, proud, and lucky ever. Details to come I promise. I hope everyone had an AMAZING New Years Eve. I sure did. Have a good one guys. Current Mood: loved Current Music: "Two Step" -DMB (are they worthy?)
Monday, December 27th, 2004
11:26 am	"You take in everything with a certainty I envy..." He researched one of my favorite songs, learned it, and played it on the guitar for me. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, and he turned my claddagh ring around. My boy is the cutest. Sorry, for gushing. I will stop. :D Current Mood: giddy Current Music: "Hands Down" -Dashboard Confessional (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)
Saturday, December 25th, 2004
3:40 pm	"..and I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you" Christmas break started on Thursday night where I threw a smashing Christmas Party. Some crazy kids showed up, and we turned it into a half-Hispanic half-Christmas Party since we had a "Make-Your-Own-Quesadilla" bar, and every snack was chips and salsa. The party was located at Casa de Elle, and we snuck mistletoe unto a doorway. Of course, the first couple to stand under the mistletoe were two boys. Mmhmm. Franz and Thanh had to engage in an embrace. All in all, the party was a success and we had some good times. Christmas Eve came and went, and my family and myself kept our European tradition alive and exchanged presents. I think everyone was happy with what they received. I love giving presents more than receiving. I know everyone says that but nothing beats that excitement you feel when the person in front of you is unwrapping a gift you invested a lot of thought into. Christmas Day-today-we had a nice Christmas lunch, which always resembles Thanksgiving dinner. Chris just left to go down to Long Island to visit his girlfriend until Wednesday. Therefore, my car went with him :( Tomorrow I get to see my Ben, and we are exchanging presents. He says he has a surprise for me ::blush:: so who knows what that boy has beneath his sleeve. It better be romantic. :D I'm hoping this break is good. Thanksgiving break was a tad lame, so I'm thinking anything can really surpass that. Monday is Dave's all-night party/gathering that we have been looking forward to since end of August. However, due to certain reasons my excitement has officially diminished. Last time he had one of these this past summer I had a great time. But, now a few months later my life has changed drastically, I have a boyfriend, and I'm not looking for what a-certain-boy-at-the-party-this-time-and-last-time might be looking for. It feels good to have something stable. I wish everyone has something similar soon too. Hopefully Monday isn't disastrous. HAVE A WONDERFUL, AND SAFE HOLIDAY EVERYONE!!! P.S Everyone go out and buy the Straylight Run album. I am OD'ing on that right now. Current Mood: excited Current Music: "Tension and the Terror"-Straylight Run (are they worthy?)
Monday, December 20th, 2004
5:57 pm	Thanks for being so good to me. Snowfall kisses are magical =) ...Had a great weekend because of him. Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: "Existentialism on Prom Night" -Straylight Run (are they worthy?)
Sunday, December 12th, 2004
10:04 pm	I had a nice night. We went out on our first date. We were both nervous it was obvious, and showed it in two very different ways. I'm seeing him again on Wednesday, which will be nice. He's a good guy and good guys don't come around very often. I'll see what comes of this. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: "Somewhere Only We Know" -Keane (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)
3:36 pm	Words of Wisdom I found this in one of my friends' away messages. I'm not sure where he got it from, but for some reason I was drawn to it, and found that I used to be able to relate to this. Maybe a few of you could take something from this as well, and be able to move on to something better that might be waiting for you around the corner: She's a dead horse. There's no sense in beating her into the ground. She's a dead horse. Accept it and move on. No matter how many times you kick her in the chest she will not take another breath. And don't let the twitches fool you. It's just nerves, it won't last. There's something newer and better waiting to take her place. But you won't move on. So as you sit here beating a dead horse we'll be riding circles around you. Current Mood: excited Current Music: "Disappear" -Hoobastank (are they worthy?)
1:31 am	All smiles He makes me smile. I can't wait to see him tomorrow. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: "Today" -Smashing Pumpkins (are they worthy?)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
7:23 pm	Boy. Boy meets girl. I'm so glad I'm done with immaturity. I'm so glad I'm done with his immaturity. I'm so glad I'm done with him. It was fun, but it was a game. I want something more. Enter him. I've never been asked out on a real date before. I'm talking: boy asks girl. boy picks up girl. boy and girl go out to dinner. boy and girl have good conversation. boy brings girl home. There is a first time for everything, and Sunday will be my first, real date. I can't believe I just admitted that. I want to take it the right way for once. I want the build up, I want to spontaneously smile again when I think about how he cares too. I want that. I might get that, and I am excited. For once I'm not going to rush anything, but I will enjoy every step the way it should be enjoyed. I'm done with games, I'm done with useless hookups to fill an instantaneous need. I want the first date. I want the anticipation of: 'will he kiss me goodnight?' as I fiddle with my coat tail on my doorstep. I want the nervousness. I want the first kiss the real way, a way that will be remembered. Not in a cheap makeout session of improper lust. I want boy. I want boy meets girl. I think finally I'm really ready. Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: "Look at me now" -Frank Sinatra (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)
Monday, November 29th, 2004
4:40 pm	Yesterday: Scandalous. Devious. Lies. Mischief. Fun. Happiness. Calamity. Tranquil. Giggle. Pain. Comfort. Past. Present. Future. Life. Current Mood: devious Current Music: "Easy as Lovers Go"- Dashboard Confessional (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)
Thursday, November 25th, 2004
12:01 am	My birthday is on Friday. I am not in a very celebrating for anything kind of mood this year. This is because of a few things that I am too tired to go into discussion about right about now. I refuse to go to the Discount Cinemas in Middletown ever again. We went three damn times (once last night and twice today) to see our beloved Napoleon Dynamite for a special showing for 2 dollars. Last night the projector was broken. This morning they were not showing the times listed in red, and tonight we came too late and they weren't going to start playing the movie because we were five minutes late. Can I get a what what?? I thought movie theatres play movies and you walk in whenever. Guess not. However I must give mucho props to my Ashy Pee for flipping out on the manager lady who seemed so unprofessional and bored at her job that it was amazing. Good times guys. However lets not ever talk about this day again ;) Happy Thanksgiving in the morrow loves. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: "Ocean breathes salty" Modest Mouse (are they worthy?)
Monday, November 22nd, 2004
12:41 pm	He makes me into one big contradiction. But I can't help it. I know my friends roll their eyes at me now, majority of them disapprove yet again, but I can't help it. If I make a mistake..oh well. I like him so much, and yet hate him so much at the same time. I know it's not healthy-please stop telling me that-but I can't help it. I want to see where this goes now that our approach to it is different. Our approach to it now, is how it should have been to begin with. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: "Look what You've done" -Jet (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)
Friday, November 19th, 2004
2:39 pm	This needs to stop meaning so much to me. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "Yesterdays feelings" The Used (are they worthy?)
Saturday, November 13th, 2004
11:02 pm	Last night's Used concert was AMAZING. Nothing less. Point blank they are a talented group of guys that deserve every last bit of success they have coming to them. Thank you for writing my life. ...and now some inspiration, right Annie? Current Music: "In Your Eyes" -The Used (are they worthy?)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
4:36 pm	It could have been over. Yesterday coming home from school I noticed that there was a car accident down the road from the school. I didn't think much of it since Elle was paged on her fire-pager during a Math Honor Society meeting, and just advised some kids not to drive home that way because the traffic would be intense. I walked out to the parking lot with Shaina, talking and laughing about the ordinary when all of a sudden Elle and Christine sped over to us in Elle's car-Elle on the cellphone. "We saw the tow truck, towing the car from the accident...the car looked like Steve's." I don't think I have ever feared this much for anyone before. One of my best friends was potentially in a car accident, and I knew nothing except for the potentiality of the statement. I climbed into my car, and drove home jumping online to see if maybe it was a mistake and he instead was online. He was idle. Same away message from the night before. I didn't know what else to do but call all my friends. I knew nothing, and I was scared. Eventually I got a phone call from Christine. She informed me that Steve was involved in the accident. He was parked at a stand still behind a few cars waiting behind a school bus. Suddenly another student in a car with his friend and girlfriend came crashing into his car at 45mph. I have been informed that if he had not been wearing a seatbelt he would have died. My friend-dead, because of someone's careless driving, and inability to be responsible behind the wheel. Usually Steve drives people home. What if someone had been in the backseat at the time? Dead. Killed on the impact when the back trunk of his car reached the back of the front seat. That's how immaculate the force was. The fact that when he cranked his head a few degrees to the right from the drivers seat, he saw his back trunk directly behind him. Luckily Steve got away with only having to wear a neck brace for two weeks. The other car's driver got away fine, but his girlfriend suffered a beat up face. I just can't understand how a person cannot see a trail of cars at a stand still, and how speeding the other driver (whose name I shall not state) could just slam and almost kill one of my closest friends. I was one of the lucky ones to be the friend of a survivor. However, in the past few years I have had friends whose friend's have been killed in car accidents. It's not cool. Be responsible. When you drive you're risking your life and the lives of others. It's not a videogame- where when you crash and die you can hit "restart" and have it begin again from scratch. No one gets another chance, please drive carefully. My friend could have died..the utter thought gives me chills. Current Mood: sad Current Music: "Yesterdays Feelings" -The Used (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
9:35 pm	VICTORY IS SWEET AND WELL DESERVED All my hardwork has paid off, My President has been re-elected. All the hours of volunteering at the headquarters- calling endless amounts of people in endless amounts of towns reminding them to vote, all the work to get teenagers registered,all the debating with teachers and other adults and bosses, attending the Rally Monday night where I partied with New York Politicians like Governor George Pataki until late hours of the night, then the Gala last night coming home past midnight (and I left early ) and taking an Economics Midterm on a few hours of sleep, finally ended with the re-election of George W. Bush. Twas fun. I will miss it. Now it's time to look ahead for FOUR MORE YEARS And that my friends, is sweet victory. :)! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: "Ohio is For Lovers" -Hawthorne Heights (2 champagne glasses | | |are they worthy?)
Sunday, October 31st, 2004
10:39 am	Happy Halloween Happy Halloween. It's Halloween today. What am I doing? Writing a paper on abortion for College English 101. This time years and years ago I was waiting in anticipation to dress up in my costume, paint my face and head out to Halloween excursions with my elementary buddies. I spent time agonizing what I would be weeks prior, hoping to think of something clever to outdo my friends and impress the homes I chose to go to. Now however I sit at a computer asking myself questions on why babies in their early trimesters are being murdered through cruel acts of tearing off limbs, and vacuuming out brains for the mistakes of their mothers. And to me that's the scary issue now. Not the witches, not the ghost and ghouls that flew around the town Halloween night when I was a kid. Now reality scares me. My imagination has disappeared. Instead of staring gleefully at my costume so neatly hung up on the door, I rush to finish papers as I head to work tonight at the Republican Headquarters to help my President become re-elected. I am not getting candy, not lugging a bag of treats- grumpy at stingy neighbors who gave out stale cookies, and 4 pennies to each child. I wish that was my biggest worry. I've noticed Halloween has turned into the holiday of nostalgia and reflection for most teenagers today. They realize that slowly their childhood truly has ended, and they realize the different paths all their friends are enroute to take. Becoming police officers, nurses, psychiatrists, interior decorators,teachers, lawyers, doctors, scientists, musicians. Now we're actually becoming these characters, not just putting on costumes pretending to be other people...we are now working to be something. No more pretending. This is reality. Halloween allows us to take a step back and look at things realistically. Do yourself a favor, today as you're frantically writing papers, bussing tables, delivering pizzas, calling households to remind people to vote, or even sitting at home watching a scary movie marathon on TNT...reconnect with yourself. Gain a little piece of your imagination back again. Current Mood: productive Current Music: "Mr. Brightside" -The Killers (2 champagne glasses | | |are they worthy?)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
4:01 pm	I'm so glad the two of you think this is some fucking joke. I can see it from his perspective, but I never thought you would try me this way. Ever. You'll apologize, or laugh it off..but then it doesn't stop. You are flattered by it, you starve for attention, you starve for the male attention. You seek to compete with me, and I find no reason for this to occur. Now I see why you told him. Simply, you wanted a chance. Make up your mind. How many guys do you have to like? Do you actually like any of them? Or is this a part of the game too? Friends don't do this to friends. Friends are straight up, friends realize boundaries and don't push them. You're such a great person, but I've found your weakness, I've found where you falter, what causes your insecurity. This is it. Well, be confident in yourself, and stop flirting with all these humans that have something in between their legs, especially when you know I like him. Just be yourself. You are such a good person, yet you try so hard to be the center of the attention, and to try to be clumsy to make people laugh..to make guys laugh. It won't work that way, instead someone will come along and like you for the normal, fun, person you are with us. My trust was torn with you through this all. It hurts because it's you. Ever since that year I've found it hard to trust anyone anymore, or open myself up anymore. Now I remember why I closed off. Not to say I don't and will never trust you again, but right now I know where my limits will be. I love you so much as a person, but this here right now hurts me. Yet you continue. It feeds your ego. You say you try to stop it, but actions speak louder than words and it's quite clear you're not. Have I thanked you yet for this? Stop turning this into something it shouldn't be. Now I know why you told him. Current Mood: drained Current Music: "I'm Okay" -My Chemical Romance (2 champagne glasses | | |are they worthy?)
Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
10:09 pm	Why is this happening?? Why is he doing this to me?? ...I'm trying so hard to move on, and you're not making this easy. Current Mood: sad Current Music: That new Eminem song (are they worthy?)
1:28 am	Wow. Everyone please do yourself a favor and go see Ladder 49. Joaquin Phoenix is one of my favorite actors and this movie reminded me why that was the case. Simply amazing. There wasn't one dry eye in the house. Maybe it meant more to me because one of my best friends is a Volunteer Firefighter and there she sat, bawling the most out of all the people I was with-understandably because she realized how easily she could lose one of the people in her own department. This movie undoubtedly gives you a new outlook, if not reiiterates your outlook on people that risk their own lives every single day to protect ordinary people like you and I. Amazing movie. See it. Right Now. Current Mood: exhausted (1 champagne glass | | |are they worthy?)